New Delhi | September 18, 2026 | 05:56 PM IST
In a candid exploration of modern relationships, celebrated actress Soha Ali Khan has shed light on the complexities of attraction and the intentional effort required to sustain long-term monogamy. Married to actor Kunal Khemu since 2015, Khan’s recent interview has ignited a conversation about the universal experience of being admired and the conscious choices individuals make within committed partnerships. Her nuanced perspective, validated by psychological insights, offers a refreshing take on navigating the delicate balance between personal freedom and relational fidelity.
Khan’s discourse centered on the notion that while individuals may not always control fleeting thoughts or fantasies, their actions are entirely within their purview. This distinction, she argues, is crucial for understanding and maintaining healthy relationships. The actress openly addressed the hypothetical scenario of either herself or her husband being approached or flirted with, asserting that attraction towards a partner does not necessarily signify a threat to the relationship itself.
The Universality of Attraction: Acknowledging External Admiration
Soha Ali Khan articulated a pragmatic viewpoint on external admiration, stating, "If I was the only person who liked Kunal, that would be weird. I am not talking about Kunal, but I’m saying that obviously you like someone because they have attractive qualities. So, other people should also like that person. It only makes sense." This statement underscores a fundamental human reality: attractive individuals naturally draw attention. To expect a partner to be invisible to others, or to feel threatened by every admiring glance, is an unrealistic and potentially damaging expectation within a relationship.
Khan elaborated on this point, emphasizing that attraction itself is not inherently detrimental. "You cannot control your thoughts. It’s okay to think. It’s okay to dream. It’s okay to fantasise. What you can control are your actions," she asserted. This perspective aligns with psychological understanding, which posits that our minds are fertile ground for a myriad of thoughts and feelings, many of which arise spontaneously and without conscious volition. The critical differentiator, according to Khan, lies in the translation of these internal experiences into external behaviors.
The Intentionality of Monogamy: A Daily Commitment
Beyond the dynamics of attraction, Soha Ali Khan delved into the core of her belief in long-term monogamy, acknowledging its inherent challenges. "One thing that matters to me, because I do believe in long-term monogamy, is very challenging. But it’s a decision that you make every single day, and it’s intentional," she explained. This framing of monogamy as an active, daily choice, rather than a passive state, is a significant insight. It moves away from the idea of monogamy as a set-it-and-forget-it agreement and positions it as a continuous process of reaffirmation and dedication.
Khan further elaborated on this conscious commitment: "You have to make that decision today, ‘Okay, my actions are going to be a certain way, and I’m going to think about the fact that for myself and for my partner, I must behave a certain way’." This highlights the personal responsibility and accountability that individuals undertake within a monogamous framework. It’s about actively choosing to uphold the agreed-upon boundaries and to prioritize the well-being of the partnership through one’s conduct. Her remarks were made in an interview with Brut India, a platform known for its engaging celebrity conversations.
Expert Validation: Deconstructing Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions
The psychological underpinnings of Khan’s perspective were further elucidated by Dr. Rimpa Sarkar, a psychologist with a PhD from Sentier Wellness, Mumbai. Dr. Sarkar corroborated Khan’s distinction between thoughts, feelings, and actions, describing it as "psychologically healthy." She emphasized that "attraction, curiosity, and fantasies can arise automatically and do not necessarily indicate a lack of commitment."
Dr. Sarkar elaborated on the implications of this understanding for couples: "When couples understand this distinction, they can avoid unnecessary jealousy or guilt about normal human experiences and instead focus on trust, communication, and agreed boundaries." This underscores the potential for greater relational harmony when individuals possess a more realistic understanding of human psychology and its inherent complexities. The emphasis shifts from policing thoughts to fostering an environment of open communication and shared understanding of boundaries.
However, Dr. Sarkar also offered a crucial caveat, reiterating the significance of actions. "However, she added that actions still matter, as repeatedly acting on an attraction can affect a relationship’s emotional safety." This reinforces the idea that while thoughts are not controllable, actions have tangible consequences. Consistent disregard for agreed-upon boundaries, even if rooted in fleeting attractions, can erode trust and create an unsafe emotional environment within a partnership.
The Evolving Landscape of Monogamy: Beyond the Absence of Infidelity
Dr. Rimpa Sarkar’s insights provided a deeper dive into the maintenance of long-term monogamy, challenging the notion that it necessitates the eradication of attraction to others. "Long-term monogamy does not mean that a person will never find anyone else attractive. Attraction is a normal human experience, even within a loving and committed relationship," she stated. This perspective reframes monogamy not as a state of perpetual disinterest in others, but as a conscious choice to prioritize and nurture a specific relationship.
The expert explained that sustaining monogamy involves a dynamic process: "It involves choosing how to respond to attraction while continuing to invest emotionally in one’s partner." This highlights the active role of individuals in their relationships. It’s about managing impulses and redirecting emotional energy towards the chosen partner. The commitment lies not in the absence of external allure, but in the deliberate act of nurturing the existing bond.
Furthermore, Dr. Sarkar stressed the importance of shared understanding: "It also requires understanding what commitment means to both people, because monogamy is not simply about avoiding physical infidelity but about consciously protecting the boundaries and trust that the couple has agreed upon." This emphasizes that commitment is a mutually defined concept within each relationship. It’s a shared understanding of what constitutes fidelity and security, which extends beyond mere physical abstinence to encompass emotional honesty, transparency, and the safeguarding of the couple’s established trust.
Chronology of the Conversation: From Personal Reflection to Expert Analysis
The discourse initiated by Soha Ali Khan’s personal reflections represents a recent development in public conversations surrounding relationships. While the exact date of the interview with Brut India is not specified in the provided text, its publication in September 2026 places it within a contemporary context. Khan, a prominent figure in the Indian film industry, has consistently maintained a private yet open approach to discussing her personal life. Her marriage to Kunal Khemu in 2015 has been a subject of public interest, and her willingness to share her thoughts on sensitive topics like attraction and monogamy adds a significant layer to the ongoing dialogue about modern relationships.
The interview format, particularly with a platform like Brut India, allows for a more intimate and in-depth exploration of personal philosophies. The inclusion of expert commentary from Dr. Rimpa Sarkar serves to contextualize Khan’s personal experiences within broader psychological frameworks. This juxtaposition of celebrity perspective and expert analysis is a common journalistic approach to providing a comprehensive understanding of complex social issues.
Supporting Data and Societal Context: The Evolving Nature of Relationships
While the article does not present statistical data, the conversation itself reflects a broader societal trend. In recent years, there has been an increasing open discussion about the complexities of relationships, moving beyond traditional, often rigid, definitions of monogamy. Factors contributing to this include:
- Increased Access to Information: The internet and social media have facilitated the sharing of diverse perspectives on relationships, challenging conventional norms and fostering greater awareness of different relationship structures and philosophies.
- Emphasis on Individual Well-being: Modern society often places a greater emphasis on individual happiness and fulfillment within relationships. This can lead to a re-evaluation of traditional expectations that might prioritize societal norms over personal needs.
- Shifting Gender Roles: Evolving gender roles have also influenced relationship dynamics. Women, in particular, are more vocal about their expectations and boundaries within partnerships, contributing to a more nuanced understanding of commitment and attraction.
- Psychological Awareness: A growing understanding and acceptance of psychological principles have demystified concepts like attraction and fantasy, leading to more compassionate and less judgmental approaches to relationship challenges.
Soha Ali Khan’s interview taps into these contemporary currents, offering a relatable perspective that resonates with many individuals navigating similar questions in their own relationships.
Official Responses: N/A
As this article is based on a celebrity interview and expert commentary, there are no "official responses" in the traditional sense of government or institutional statements. The responses provided are from the individuals quoted, offering their personal and professional viewpoints.
Implications: Towards Healthier and More Realistic Relationships
Soha Ali Khan’s candid discussion, supported by expert insights, has several significant implications for how we understand and practice long-term monogamy:
- Destigmatizing Attraction: By normalizing the idea that attraction to others is a natural human experience, even within committed relationships, Khan’s perspective can help reduce unwarranted guilt and jealousy. This can foster a more secure environment where couples can discuss such feelings openly without fear of judgment.
- Empowering Conscious Choice: The emphasis on monogamy as an intentional, daily decision empowers individuals to actively participate in the health of their relationships. It shifts the focus from passive adherence to an active cultivation of commitment.
- Promoting Open Communication: The article implicitly advocates for open and honest communication within relationships. By acknowledging the complexities of attraction, couples are encouraged to discuss their boundaries, expectations, and potential challenges, leading to a stronger foundation of trust.
- Redefining Commitment: The discussion suggests that commitment is not solely about the absence of physical infidelity but about a broader dedication to protecting the emotional safety, trust, and agreed-upon boundaries of the partnership. This broader definition can lead to more resilient and fulfilling relationships.
- Fostering Realistic Expectations: By separating controllable actions from uncontrollable thoughts and fantasies, the article helps set more realistic expectations for both oneself and one’s partner. This can prevent the disillusionment that arises from unattainable ideals.
In conclusion, Soha Ali Khan’s reflections, amplified by the expertise of Dr. Rimpa Sarkar, offer a valuable contribution to the ongoing conversation about love, attraction, and commitment in the 21st century. Their insights pave the way for healthier, more honest, and ultimately more fulfilling long-term monogamous relationships, grounded in self-awareness, open communication, and intentional dedication.
